A Dismal Diagnosis Amidst My Greatest Joy
Let's start my story from the beginning...
I woke up on a Saturday morning in September and prepared to go to work as usual. It was harder these days to even get out of bed, as I was 36 weeks pregnant with my baby boy! I hopped out of the shower and proceeded with my usual lotioning routine - I was so nervous about getting stretch marks from my pregnancy, I made this an almost daily ritual.
It was then that I felt a lump on my left breast. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but my first thought is that it's definitely pregnancy related. So what did I do? Googled it, of course!
Google told me that it was more than likely a clogged milk duct from my pregnancy, and not to worry. Well, that's never good enough for me, so naturally I stressed about it all the way to work. After talking with my colleagues for an hour or so, I thought it was best that I just call the doctor and be sure that I'm not crazy.
Luckily, my OB office had a two hour Saturday window that I could be seen. They made room for me right away and I saw my amazing OB that morning to get the lump checked out. Upon inspection, she thought for sure it was just tissue, but as a recent breast cancer survivor herself, and to put my mind at ease, she ordered an ultrasound. By some small miracle (and a last minute cancellation), I was able to get in to the hospital and get the ultrasound done that Monday morning at 8 am.
During the ultrasound they found that it was not a fluid lump; it was solid, so I required a biopsy. I got in for the biopsy the very same afternoon. I was still convinced that this was all really stupid and I was going to be told it was a benign lump, something my mother and grandmother had been through several times before. I freaked out though of course, and my amazing husband agreed to tackle the biopsy with me. It hurt like a bitch, and I nearly passed out after getting up from the table, but it was what it was! That was Monday.
On Tuesday morning I received the call from my surgeon. He started the conversation with "I've got some bad news, the lump is cancerous." I'm pretty certain I didn't hear anything after that. Between my sobs, I asked him if I was going to die. He said, "No honey, of course you're not going to die." I'm sure he said more after that, but I just told him to call my husband. I was no longer listening. I was about to have a baby, the one thing I've wanted most in the whole world, and now I've got cancer. Was this a joke?
Later that same day, Andrew and I met with my OB and we scheduled our induction for Thursday evening. Our baby was healthy, and he needed to come a little early so his Mommy could face a new battle. On September 30th, 2016 - just 3 days after my cancer diagnosis, I welcomed my very healthy baby boy. Best day of my whole life. I was made to be his Mommy, and he makes my days so bright.
The following week was a wreck. Test after test; waiting on results was torture. I was told that if the cancer had spread, I had a very grim outlook. "No cure" to be exact. After an MRI and a PET/CT scan, I found out that my cancer was localized to the breast that they already knew about. It had not spread to my lymph nodes, or any further. Hallelujah, I could finally breathe!
Fast forward to October 14th, my baby boy is just two weeks old, and I received my first chemotherapy treatment.
And so my story will continue...
Read for more updates on how I'm feeling and just how I'm dealing with a lot of the craziness that is my life now!
PS: I'm so thankful for every prayer, every card, every meal, donation... My family is overwhelmed by your love and support. Thank you. Please continue to pray for us as we go through this journey, as we will be faced with tough days ahead.
I woke up on a Saturday morning in September and prepared to go to work as usual. It was harder these days to even get out of bed, as I was 36 weeks pregnant with my baby boy! I hopped out of the shower and proceeded with my usual lotioning routine - I was so nervous about getting stretch marks from my pregnancy, I made this an almost daily ritual.
It was then that I felt a lump on my left breast. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but my first thought is that it's definitely pregnancy related. So what did I do? Googled it, of course!
Google told me that it was more than likely a clogged milk duct from my pregnancy, and not to worry. Well, that's never good enough for me, so naturally I stressed about it all the way to work. After talking with my colleagues for an hour or so, I thought it was best that I just call the doctor and be sure that I'm not crazy.
Luckily, my OB office had a two hour Saturday window that I could be seen. They made room for me right away and I saw my amazing OB that morning to get the lump checked out. Upon inspection, she thought for sure it was just tissue, but as a recent breast cancer survivor herself, and to put my mind at ease, she ordered an ultrasound. By some small miracle (and a last minute cancellation), I was able to get in to the hospital and get the ultrasound done that Monday morning at 8 am.
During the ultrasound they found that it was not a fluid lump; it was solid, so I required a biopsy. I got in for the biopsy the very same afternoon. I was still convinced that this was all really stupid and I was going to be told it was a benign lump, something my mother and grandmother had been through several times before. I freaked out though of course, and my amazing husband agreed to tackle the biopsy with me. It hurt like a bitch, and I nearly passed out after getting up from the table, but it was what it was! That was Monday.
On Tuesday morning I received the call from my surgeon. He started the conversation with "I've got some bad news, the lump is cancerous." I'm pretty certain I didn't hear anything after that. Between my sobs, I asked him if I was going to die. He said, "No honey, of course you're not going to die." I'm sure he said more after that, but I just told him to call my husband. I was no longer listening. I was about to have a baby, the one thing I've wanted most in the whole world, and now I've got cancer. Was this a joke?
Later that same day, Andrew and I met with my OB and we scheduled our induction for Thursday evening. Our baby was healthy, and he needed to come a little early so his Mommy could face a new battle. On September 30th, 2016 - just 3 days after my cancer diagnosis, I welcomed my very healthy baby boy. Best day of my whole life. I was made to be his Mommy, and he makes my days so bright.
The following week was a wreck. Test after test; waiting on results was torture. I was told that if the cancer had spread, I had a very grim outlook. "No cure" to be exact. After an MRI and a PET/CT scan, I found out that my cancer was localized to the breast that they already knew about. It had not spread to my lymph nodes, or any further. Hallelujah, I could finally breathe!
Fast forward to October 14th, my baby boy is just two weeks old, and I received my first chemotherapy treatment.
And so my story will continue...
Read for more updates on how I'm feeling and just how I'm dealing with a lot of the craziness that is my life now!
PS: I'm so thankful for every prayer, every card, every meal, donation... My family is overwhelmed by your love and support. Thank you. Please continue to pray for us as we go through this journey, as we will be faced with tough days ahead.
Love a good blog. I look forward to reading how cancer gets a good a** kicking!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you've started a blog. It's a great way to keep friends and family updated, and for you to process everything you are going through. Please know that the Ahlf family are sending you lots of love and strength. -Alysha, Justin, June & Rosco
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ReplyDeleteHi there my name is Kathy (Ketcham) Flagg and I am a family friend through your Mom and your Aunt Cindy is my HS classmate. I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers during this whole ordeal. Our journeys have some similarity as I was 33 with a 6 month old and a 23 month old when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I also was lead to believe that it was probably just something to do with my milk ducts but I pushed for testing as I had a weird intuition that something just wasn't right. I had a bilateral modified mastectomy, axillary node dissection, reconstruction and a complete hysterectomy. I am a RN (work in the Operating Room) so many of the decisions I had to make were easier to comprehend with the medical knowledge I had. I understand that this is a very stressful time and wish you all the best with treatment and your new baby and family! I found out 9 years later that I also carry the BRCA 2 mutation. There was cancer history in my family and my dad died when I was in my 20's so it wasn't that big of a surprise for me. I encourage you to talk to your oncologist and consider testing if your insurance plan will cover it. Blessings and LOTS of Prayers!!!
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