Adventures of the New Mommy With the Big "C"

Before my cancer journey started, I jogged 3+ miles, 5 days a week. I loved to run and was just starting to compete in races. I definitely considered it a passion. I also never really cared much about how I looked- I love sweatpants and yoga pants, and I dislike makeup. It's all so much work, ha! I didn't realize how I would feel about myself while receiving treatment.When you think about cancer, you may think about how someone looks. Bald, pale, skinny and frail looking. I got the bald and pale thing down, but surprise- most breast cancer patients gain weight during their treatment. I've had a really hard time with this. Because of the chemo cocktails I've been on, plus a surplus of steroids, I've definitely put on some unwanted pounds. I never put much thought or effort into my appearance, so I didn't think this part would be hard. Unfortunately it's been extremely difficult. It hurts me to look in the mirror some days. It reminds me that I'm...

I know so far in this blog I've kept the focus on my cancer. I'd like to switch gears today. This entry is going to be all about my little life saver; my baby boy. Benny is the most wonderful baby. Despite keeping his father and I up a little at night, he brings us so much joy- most days I just can't believe that he's mine. This smiley guy is my little champion. He has now more than doubled his birth weight, and he's learning new things everyday! He can roll over (he started this at less than a month old if you can believe it) from tummy to back, and he absolutely loves bath time.  My favorite part about his development so far is that he's now able to focus on my face - he definitely knows who his Mommy is. Daddy loves this too 😊. Ben is definitely happiest in the morning, and at his crankiest around 4:30-5 in the afternoon. We had about 3 weeks where around 4:30 he would get super upset for no reason, and scream for an hour. I'm told this is t...

Wanted to start this blog off on a positive note- my doctor said that I'm doing so well, that he's moved my treatment up by an entire month. What does that mean? It means I've got 4 more treatments left, over the next 8 weeks. If things continue to go well, I will then have one month for bone marrow recovery and then my surgery. My next 4 treatments will be interesting because I'm starting a new medication - taxol. From what I'm told, I shouldn't feel as nauseous, but I will be exceedingly sore. The best way to describe the soreness is, when you have a high fever and your skin crawls if someone so much as touches you. These days are rough for me, because holding my son becomes difficult. Crossing my fingers that these symptoms will be short lived! Many of you don't know this, but when I was first diagnosed, my doctors were really searching for a reason why. Why would a 28 year old, healthy person get breast cancer? Because of this we opted to do some...

In the days that followed my diagnosis, I found myself waiting around a lot. Waiting on test results, waiting for my next doctor's appointment, waiting to figure out if chemo will work. I'm not ashamed to say that despite my regular anxiety, I struggle even more so now. All of a sudden, I've got a cancer attacking my body and I'm supposed to just wait around for this chemo to kill it? Why can't it just come out? Why am I not doing surgery right away? Get this out of me!!! I need a Xanax. During this process everyone tells you to "be positive!" While I can honestly say that I stay positive 90% of the time, I have days where this is really, really difficult. My life is literally in the hands of two doctors that I just met a month ago. How can I trust that their method will work? I pray everyday. On days that I have trouble being positive, I just look at my little boy; my angel. If it weren't for him, I would be dead. I am BEYOND blessed that he ...

Let's start my story from the beginning... I woke up on a Saturday morning in September and prepared to go to work as usual. It was harder these days to even get out of bed, as I was 36 weeks pregnant with my baby boy! I hopped out of the shower and proceeded with my usual lotioning routine - I was so nervous about getting stretch marks from my pregnancy, I made this an almost daily ritual. It was then that I felt a lump on my left breast. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but my first thought is that it's definitely pregnancy related. So what did I do? Googled it, of course! Google told me that it was more than likely a clogged milk duct from my pregnancy, and not to worry. Well, that's never good enough for me, so naturally I stressed about it all the way to work. After talking with my colleagues for an hour or so, I thought it was best that I just call the doctor and be sure that I'm not crazy. Luckily, my OB office had a two hour Saturday window that I c...