Brave.
Hello, all. I know I've been relatively silent lately. Perhaps, I've found that staying silent about my feelings will ensure my cancer stays away? Perhaps, not.
Today I wanted to touch on the word "Brave." What does it mean to be brave? When I was first diagnosed, people would tell me, "Oh, you're so brave," and all I could think of was this:
BRAVE? THIS IS BRAVE? WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE? TO DIE? TO LEAVE MY SON AND HUSBAND? This is not brave, this is me doing what everyone has told me to do. This is me doing what my doctors tell me. This is me trying to live, that's all.
I got to thinking today what the word really means.
To me, brave means having the courage to check for lumps and bumps after you've been cancer free for a while. Cuz ya know what? None of us survivors ever want someone to tell us our cancer has come back. Brave is, despite trembling with fear, feeling a lump and having the courage to call the doctor anyway.
Brave is fighting every urge in your body telling you not to check, cuz if you don't check, there will be nothing to find. Brave is fighting to stay alive.
Brave is sacrificing yourself or your safety to fight for our country.
Brave is waking up and going to work every morning when your anxiety is eating away at you.
Brave is providing for or teaching children who look up to you.
Brave is showing kindness in a world that is cruel.
Brave is being an advocate for yourself.

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