Adventures of the New Mommy With the Big "C"

In the days that followed my diagnosis, I found myself waiting around a lot. Waiting on test results, waiting for my next doctor's appointment, waiting to figure out if chemo will work. I'm not ashamed to say that despite my regular anxiety, I struggle even more so now. All of a sudden, I've got a cancer attacking my body and I'm supposed to just wait around for this chemo to kill it? Why can't it just come out? Why am I not doing surgery right away? Get this out of me!!! I need a Xanax. During this process everyone tells you to "be positive!" While I can honestly say that I stay positive 90% of the time, I have days where this is really, really difficult. My life is literally in the hands of two doctors that I just met a month ago. How can I trust that their method will work? I pray everyday. On days that I have trouble being positive, I just look at my little boy; my angel. If it weren't for him, I would be dead. I am BEYOND blessed that he ...

Let's start my story from the beginning... I woke up on a Saturday morning in September and prepared to go to work as usual. It was harder these days to even get out of bed, as I was 36 weeks pregnant with my baby boy! I hopped out of the shower and proceeded with my usual lotioning routine - I was so nervous about getting stretch marks from my pregnancy, I made this an almost daily ritual. It was then that I felt a lump on my left breast. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but my first thought is that it's definitely pregnancy related. So what did I do? Googled it, of course! Google told me that it was more than likely a clogged milk duct from my pregnancy, and not to worry. Well, that's never good enough for me, so naturally I stressed about it all the way to work. After talking with my colleagues for an hour or so, I thought it was best that I just call the doctor and be sure that I'm not crazy. Luckily, my OB office had a two hour Saturday window that I c...